I never thought I would get into blogging but now that Evelyn is almost a year old and not having so many health problems I thought I would start this and stop the Caringbridge site (see http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/eveylngracetitus).
Today was a great day! Evelyn was scheduled for surgery on Monday to have tubes put in at the hospital in Minneapolis but since her ears look good and she hasn't been sick we aren't going to do tubes!! We may need to in the future but for now we are good to go!
Evelyn's first real family gathering was this past weekend. She was with my moms side of the family and seemed to have a good time. She doesn't get out to much so meeting all of these new people must be interesting for her. She really seems to like attention (who doesn't)!.
Evelyn will be 1 in 2 weeks! Wow has time flown by! A year ago I was in the hospital on bedrest going CRAZY! I thought while I layed in the hospital bed I could get all this work done - didn't happen - I watched lots of TV and played on the internet a lot. I also had a lot of family visit which was so nice - I can't thank them enough for that (or for all the food they brought in - hospital food sucks!). As I look back at this time a year ago, I was more scared then I ever remember feeling. I didn't know if I would have a baby to take home. It drove me crazy that the doctors couldn't tell me anything much of the time but what they did for us saved Evelyn's life. Thank god for that!! I remember laying in bed wondering what life would be like with our new baby - when could we take her home and how would her health be. I don't think these are thoughts by most parents out there. I have read that having a preemie is like losing a child. I don't know what losing a child is like but I can believe this to be true. Everything that I had dreamed and wished didn't happen the way I had hoped. Instead of working up to my due date I was scheduled to start work the week after my maternity leave, instead of taking my time picking out the nursery colors I had to hurry and ended up with a weird green color, instead of being in the hospital for just a few days I was in the hospital for 2 weeks and Evelyn was in for 9 weeks. Visiting Evelyn in the hospital was frightening to....each time I would arrive at the hospital and say a quick prayer that she would be ok when I walked in the door. There were other babies around us that would be all ready to go home and then would get pneumonia or something else that would keep them in the hospital. I was so scared that would happen to us! It was such a stressful time that I ended up not taking care of myself spending 9+ hours there a day, 7 days a week! I would get back to where I was staying at night and crash just to get up the next morning and do it all again. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving Evelyn alone in that hospital. In the 9 weeks she was in the NICU I only missed 3 days. One Wally went alone and the others no one could get there. Don't get me wrong, I am so greatful for Evelyn! She is the sweetest most laid back baby. I love her smile and how cute she is! I love how great Wally is with her and how much he loves her (we still argue about who gets to change her diaper!). There is still a part of me that is sad that I didn't get what I had hoped for. I was so excited about taking my maternity leave with our new baby - taking walks, meeting other parents. It was hard to see other moms on maternity leave when I had to be at work. In fact, it still is. I guess I am super jealous of these moms. This also makes me think about my job...do I want to be at work all the time and miss my little girl growing up? I am leaning towards no but finances win right now.
That is enough from me right now. I hope to keep this updated as much as I can...life is busy right now so we will see.
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